We’re Eloping! How Can We Include Our Friends and Family in a Meaningful Way?

One of the most freeing things about eloping is that you get to do everything your way: choose your own pace, location, priorities, traditions... and people. But just because you’re foregoing the big guest list doesn’t mean you’re ditching the love and support of your family and friends. There are so many ways you can include the people who matter most to you so they can feel honored, and you can feel supported and surrounded by their love, even though they're not there.

Here are a few ideas to help you include loved ones from afar while keeping the day entirely your own:

1. Send a formal announcement with a personal, heartfelt note

After the elopement, mail out formal announcement cards using a favorite photo or two from the day. Include a handwritten note to each person or family, telling them how magical it was and how much you’re looking forward to celebrating together in the future. This small, tangible gesture can go a long way in helping people feel seen and included, even from afar.

2. Plan a post-elopement celebration (your way)

Just because you eloped doesn’t mean you can’t still party! Whether it’s a backyard dinner, a rooftop cocktail hour, or just a casual brunch with your favorite people, planning a celebration after your elopement gives everyone something to look forward to. It’s also a chance to show off your photos, relive the best parts of the day, and say, “Hey, thanks for loving us no matter how we chose to get married.”

3. Ask them to contribute something symbolic to your day

Even if your people aren’t physically present, they can still be there in spirit. Solicit the help of your family and friends to fulfill the traditional something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Maybe it's a pair of earrings borrowed from your grandma that you'll wear during the ceremony. Maybe your favorite aunt wants to treat you by gifting you with a beautiful new sash you can snuggle up in if it gets chilly while eloping on a mountaintop. Your mom is an avid gardener and your wedding bouquet is filled with blue hydrangeas to honor her. Be sure to have these items photographed during your day so you can show your loved ones that they did play a part in your special day through these symbolic gestures.

4. Have family and friends write personal notes to you

A few weeks or months before you elope, ask family and friends to write you a special, hand-written note. These can be advice for the newlyweds, warm wishes for a memorable elopement together, words reminiscing on special memories together, or a loving reminder of how special you are to them. Ask them to put the note in an envelope and give it to you before you leave for your elopement. Throughout the trip, you and your partner can pick one out of the collection to read together and revel in the love you feel from all your friends and family. You'll have the intimate, private celebration you want with just the two of you, but it will still be filled with the support and love of your favorite people. Just be sure to pack some tissues!

5. Celebrate together, even though you're apart

Elopement days can be much less rigid and scheduled than a traditional wedding day, but they still have a timeline for the day. After all, if your goal is to exchange your vows on the beach at sunset, you have to adhere to a schedule so you don't miss that golden hour! This creates an opportunity for your friends and family at home to celebrate you at the exact moment you're getting married. Gift them a bottle of champagne to pop and toast you at the exact time the sun will be setting in your elopement destination. Ask them to light a candle, or read a poem, or say a blessing at the same time you'll be exchanging your vows. You'll be getting married knowing that their love is pouring onto you at that exact moment, and they'll feel included in a meaningful way at the start of your married life together.

Your elopement isn’t about excluding people. It’s about prioritizing a special moment for just the two of you to begin this incredible chapter of your lives together. With a little creativity, your closest people can still be a meaningful part of your story, even if they're cheering you on from miles away.

Written with love,

Katie Logan

CEO & Lead Planner of Logan Planning Solutions

katie@loganplanningsolutions.com

(text) ‪508-603-9288