Can We Have a Wedding Registry If We’re Eloping?

Let's start by making one thing clear. A wedding registry is a gift giving guide to make sure your loved ones are getting you a gift they know you'll appreciate. A registry is never an indication from the couple that anyone is obligated to get them a gift. This is true for couples who have a huge wedding reception and invite everyone they know, and it's true for couples who are eloping. Please don't feel like having a registry for your elopement is tacky. It is a helpful tool that provides guidance for the people who want to get you a gift. Some people will get you a gift, and some people won't. This is also true for couples who have a huge reception in the same way it's true for elopement couples! (And if you think having a big, lavish wedding means your guests' generosity with gifts will match the scale of your soiree, I've got some bad news for you...)

Having an elopement means you're skipping the big, traditional wedding and all the headaches and high costs that come with it. But it doesn’t mean you need to skip celebrating your marriage, or giving your loved ones a way to congratulate you.

People want to support you. Many people will want to get you a gift to celebrate your marriage, even if they didn't spend an evening sipping mediocre wine in a hotel ballroom on the day you got married. And in this day-and-age where people are thinking much more pragmatically about which weddings they choose to attend, many people will be grateful to you for saving them the time, money, and energy of attending another cookie-cutter wedding weekend.

So, how to go about creating and sharing your registry with friends and family if you're eloping? Here's how to do it with grace and gratitude:

Include it on Your Wedding Website

Yes, you should still make a wedding website for your elopement!

Even if you're not having a traditional wedding with the need to share lots of logistical information with guests, a wedding website is still a meaningful and practical way to share your story.

Your website is a central source of information for what you want your loved ones to know about your marriage, your plans, and how they can support you if they feel moved to. Think of it like an online announcement that you can personalize in a million ways.

Here’s what you might include:

• A heartfelt note about your elopement: share why you chose to elope, whether it was for adventure, simplicity, privacy, or to escape the pressure of a traditional wedding. People are much more understanding when they know the “why.”

• Photos from the day: include a few sneak peeks from your elopement to make guests feel included. Seeing you smiling in your wedding glow will instantly warm hearts.

• Details about your next steps: Maybe you're planning a casual celebration later, or maybe you're just excited to settle into newlywed life. Share a little of what’s ahead.

• A registry link (with gracious language): "We’re so excited to start this next chapter, which includes buying our first home together! While your love and support are more than enough, if you feel called to send a congratulatory gift, we’ve put together a small registry with some things we’ll need for our new space.”

• Digital Guestbook: include a space for loved ones to leave congratulatory messages and treasured memories, and be sure to respond to their posts with a meaningful note of your own.

Send a Post-Elopement Announcement

A thoughtful way to share the news of your elopement and your registry is with a formal announcement after the fact. A printed card is the most meaningful way to do this, but an email or e-card could also suffice. Include a few photos from your elopement, and a heartfelt personalized note to each recipient reminding them of how important they are in your life, regardless of who you did (or didn't) decide to include in your intimate wedding celebration.

On these announcements, you can include registry information with a gracious note such as: “We’re so excited to begin our married life together! Our next step is [buying a home / starting a family / getting a dog / traveling the world together]. If you’d like to send a congratulatory gift, we’ve put together a small wish list of items we’d love to start this next chapter.”

This frames the registry as part of your love story, not a demand. It also gives people a chance to support you if they want to — and many will.

Choose a Registry That Feels Aligned With Your Lifestyle

Not all registries need to be filled with wine glasses and blenders. Especially these days when couples often live together before getting married, they often already own many of the household staples before they tie the knot. Think about what fits your lives and what is really important to you. Your loved ones will feel much more enthusiastic about getting you a gift if it's something they see is meaningful to you and will make a positive impact on your lives, not just "stuff" from Pottery Barn that feels like an impersonal purchase:

• A honeymoon fund or home fund - you can create a cash registry that is broken down into specific items/experiences so your loved ones still feel like they're gifting you something special, but the gift actually just comes to you as cash. For example, you can "register" for a romantic dinner on your honeymoon for $200, and your Aunt Peggy will be excited to ask you how the dinner was after the fact. Have your eye on a fixer upper home and know it will need some touches? Your Uncle Bob might be thrilled to contribute to the "new hardwood floors" fund. And you know many people will light up when they see an opportunity to contribute to "puppy 101 training" for the new addition to your family, coming home soon after your elopement!

• An experience registry - cooking classes, hiking gear, date nights - activities that family and friends would love to help you experience together as newlyweds

• A traditional registry - there's nothing wrong with registering for some of the more traditional items, especially if you’ve been waiting to upgrade your basics. Nana would love to gift you a new roasting pan that you'll use for many Thanksgivings to come as a married couple.

Many modern registry platforms let you mix and match — so you can include physical gifts and experiences in one place.

Keep the Registry Optional and Low-Key

There’s a difference between informing and expecting. You don’t need to post your registry link everywhere or blast it on social media. But including a note in your announcement or on your personal website is totally appropriate. It’s gracious, not grabby.

Thank People Personally

As a reminder, when someone gets you a gift, especially if they weren't at your wedding celebration in person, a handwritten thank-you note goes a long way. It’s the best way to show your gratitude and keep your registry from feeling transactional.

Eloping doesn’t mean missing out on all the joy, tradition, and love that comes with getting married, it just means you’re doing it on your terms. If your loved ones want to cheer you on with a gift, let them! A well-thought-out registry, paired with heartfelt communication, is not only perfectly appropriate, it can be a beautiful way to include others in your journey. You're not being selfish or greedy. You're giving your people a chance to celebrate you in a way that feels true to your values and your relationship.

Written with love,

Katie Logan

CEO & Lead Planner of Logan Planning Solutions

katie@loganplanningsolutions.com

(text) ‪508-603-9288