Breaking The Mold: A Couple's Journey to an Unforgettable Elopement

In a world where wedding planning can feel like a full time job preparing for a Broadway production (choreographed dances, 200-person guest lists, and monogrammed napkins), some couples are opting out of the spectacle entirely and opting into something a lot more meaningful.

I recently had a conversation with an incredible bride who chose to have a destination micro-wedding. Her reflections were pure gold. Her story is a reminder that weddings don’t need to be big to be beautiful, and that focusing your wedding only on what truly matters makes it more unique and special than you could ever imagine.

Brooke and Corey come from big families and originally planned to have the big, traditional, 200 person guest-list wedding in their home state. They had even put a deposit on a venue for a fall wedding in Western Massachusetts. It was going to be beautiful, and all their friends and family were going to be there to celebrate. 

But, something didn’t feel quite right. The cost was going to be huge, the location was stunning but not personally meaningful to them, their extended family would be there but they see them regularly throughout the year anyway. When people asked about their wedding plans and how excited they were, their gut feelings felt a little flat. So, they started to think differently.

“I got to thinking what is really significant to me, and that's Ireland. So I texted my fiance, and said, “What if we got married in Ireland? And he said, ‘It never really occurred to me that that could happen.’”

That realization changed everything for them, and I’m so glad it did. 

I asked Brooke about the challenges of choosing a non-traditional wedding, particularly when it came to the guest list.  She was surprised by their experience.  

Turns out, the people who love them the most were all for it.  Speaking of Brooke’s parents, she says “I think they had their flights booked to Ireland before I did, and from the get go they were nothing but supportive.”  

The push back Brooke and Corey got was from those “presumed invitees” - a group any couple planning a traditional wedding knows all too well.  Brooke and Corey had friends who argued “well, you were in my wedding”, but luckily they were able to recognize that that doesn’t entitle anyone to be included in their day.  People who “took immense offense to the fact that we had narrowed it down to just a couple of friends…that's not the kind of people that we want surrounding us on our day”.  

This is something so many couples don’t realize they have a choice in.  

When I myself was getting married and was trying to decide where to draw the boundary for our parents’ friends, I received the following advice: “a wedding is a family affair.  All your parents’ friends don’t need to be there”.  At the time, this advice gave me comfort.  But in hindsight, I didn’t know that I could dream even further than that. Aunts, uncles, and cousins I don’t have a close relationship with… at $200 per person?! Did their presence add quality to my day? No.  But there was no shortage of quantity.  

I think a lot about the word "should" in wedding planning. The word might be small, but the weight it carries is enormous. It can drown out what a couple really wants, replacing joy and excitement with obligation and guilt. So many of the couples I work with start their planning process already feeling boxed in by the expectations of others, afraid of disappointing their families or being judged for doing something different. It’s exhausting to navigate all of those opinions, especially when they’re wrapped in love and good intentions. But those who really love you aren’t happy for you with strings attached.  The people who love you most want you to be happy in a way that’s right for you. 

Saying no to the “shoulds” is an act of courage, and an act of love, too. Love for your partner, your values, and the experience you actually want to have to begin such an amazing chapter of life together. Choosing a micro-wedding or elopement instead of a large traditional wedding doesn’t mean your celebration is less meaningful.  When you give yourself permission to say, “We don’t have to do it that way,” you open the door to something more honest, more personal, and more joyful. Your wedding is for you - you don’t need permission to make it your own.

Brooke remembers a time when she was a bridesmaid in a traditional wedding, and saw firsthand the immense about of time, money, effort, and energy that went into planning, for it all to be over in just one fast-paced day:

“I remember sitting with the bride…in the empty reception hall, and they had already cleared out all the tables. They have taken all the flowers away, and were setting up for a wedding the next day. And she looked around and said, ‘all this time and all this money and it's over’…I didn’t want that feeling. I didn’t want that feeling of being just instantly erased. I wanted a moment that would stick with me forever.”

Brooke and Corey wanted their wedding to be special.  And damnit, it was!  The morning of their wedding day, Brooke woke up in the Irish countryside of County Clare.  “I looked out my window, and I saw a castle in the distance.  I saw two mama cows and four baby calves. So I made a cup of tea. I sat outside on a picnic table and had tea with the calves, and I was like, this is it. This is great.”

Peace.  Tranquility.  Her favorite place on earth.  The most important people in her life, all staying under one roof.  A beautiful sunny day at the Cliffs of Moher waiting for them to start their married life together. 

You can’t tell me making small talk with 200 guests in a hotel ballroom is better than that…

Special thanks to Brooke for her time, her story, and her support of Logan Planning Solutions! Brooke is a bad-ass nurse who lives in Massachusetts with her husband, Corey, and their two beloved German Shepards, Shadow and Jaxson ❤

Credit for this beautiful photo to Philippe Photography